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Sausage assault

The Milwaukee Brewers finally made the headlines yesterday. But it wasn't because they won in spectacular fashion or because one of their players had a stellar game. Nope. It was because an opposing player whacked a 10-foot-tall sausage mascot with a bat. Fortunately, the woman in the costume was ok, and the player was led from the stadium in handcuffs.

The Brewers are a pretty sorry team. Haven't made the playoffs since '82. Haven't even had a winning season since '92. You can make fun of the team. You can taunt the players, badmouth the owners. You can ridicule Bernie Brewer, the mascot who slides down from his chalet into an oversized beer mug full of balloons on the rare occasions when a Brewer knocks a homer. But diehard Brewer fans (all four of us) know that you...don't... fuck... with... the...sausages.

The Incredible Edible Sausage Race pits four sausages (Italian, Polish, bratwurst and hot dog) in a race from left field to home plate with the fans going nuts. It's basically a minor league promotion in a major league stadium. The sausages always garnered more cheers than anything the Brewers did on the field. Some people even leave the game after the race. The Brewers really only have three traditions:

1. Bob Uecker, the greatest radio color guy ever to grace a press box.

2. Singing "Roll Out The Barrel" in addition to "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during the 7th inning stretch.

3. The Incredible Edible Sausage Race.

That's all we have. Please, be kind to the sausages.

Posted by Brian at 10:36 PM
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