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Friday, October 31, 2003

Handing out Vicks Vap-O-Rub for Halloween

Almost two weeks ago, a pair of Jehoviah's Witnesses knocked on the door in a futile attempt at conversion. Deborah answered and in an attempt to get rid of them as soon as possible, accepted the pamphlets they offered. One of them proclaimed that all sicknesses are God's way of punishing sinners. We compared this theory unfavorably to a steaming pile of hippo poo.

Deborah has been sick ever since.

Pumpkins ahoy!

So for the past two weeks, I've fallen asleep to the soothing sounds of Deborah hacking in my ear. When I've tried to give her a comforting hug, my grip keeps slipping away due to the massive amounts of Vicks Vap-O-Rub slathered all over her body.

As for Halloween, we got no trick-or-treaters (yay! more Skittles for me!), and I suck at carving pumpkins, as evidenced in Fig. 1. That's supposed to be a Goodbye Kitty with a butcher knife sticking out of its head.

I told you I suck at carving pumpkins.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

I hate Daylight Savings

5:45 p.m. and it's dark already. This sucks.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Don't get your footsies wet

This is apparently Hilton Head's motto.

Tonight we went to see a movie. The sky was clear when we went in. Two hours later, it was raining. Very lightly. It really wasn't much more than a heavy fog. Nevertheless, we had to elbow our way past the throng of people huddled together under the overhang in front of the theater, waiting for their knights in shining armor to pull the car (or, as in most cases, the mammoth SUV) as close as humanly possible to the exit door, lest a single drop of rain spoil a painstakingly perfect hairstyle. That scene was more amusing than the movie.

Oh yeah... the movie. "Intolerable Cruelty" starring George Clooney and the yummy Catherine Zeta-Jones. Deborah called it "awful." I uttered a few giggles, but it was nothing spectacular.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Everything old is new again ... and whatnot

I think this will be the last time I make fun of Debz for adding the phrase "and whatnot" to the end of every other sentence. I'm getting tired of the punching.

My college friend Molly ended up in Savannah last week for some conference, and she crashed at our place over the weekend. We had a blast, and I was heartened to see that, in at least some of us Bushnellers, we may be a little older, but we still laugh at the same stupid crap we did five years ago.

Some of that stupidity included two slices of camp. The first being two so-bad-they're-good B horror movies on DVD. The second was watching a camp full of Cub Scouts tempt fate, fate in this case being an alligator who was getting a tad annoyed at being plunked in the head by the scouts' fishing lines and began sliding toward the shore. But, as is so often the case, the nimrods somehow escaped their well-deserved fate.

I also added commenting to this today. Now the whole world can criticize my ramblings.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

What have I done?

gone but not forgotten

I got rid of my drum kit tonight. Just gave it away like all those egg salad sandwiches my mom made me in grade school that I never liked.

Yeah, it was old. I got it for my 13th birthday, and it was pretty beat up then. Yeah, some of it (hi-hat and snare) was broken. I rarely played it anymore, mainly because it was broken, out of tune and sounded like shit. But it was still hard to give up the old thing. At least Chris is going to try to fix it up and make it playable again. He's invited me to play when he has it finished.

Maybe I shouldn't give up my dreams of becoming a rock star just yet.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Homecoming

I was a little nervous about going home for my dad's wedding in Wisconsin this weekend. Visits home always have the potential to be a major disaster. But everything went almost perfectly. The weather for the wedding, which was outside at Beckman Mill near Beloit, was beautiful, and the ceremony went off without too much weeping on my dad's part.

The flights were on time. They gave me a Mustang for the car rental. My one-year-old nephew Elijah reversed his earlier position and decided he likes me. I spent a good amount of time with Sarah, Erik and Ryan. I saw a bunch of aunts, uncles and cousins I rarely see. I walked around the Beloit campus during the height of the fall colors.

I guess the only thing I can complain about is that the Bears lost on Sunday. But that wasn't exactly a surprise. Then the Packers lost a few minutes later and all was right in the world again.

Thursday, October 9, 2003

Ok, now it's starting to feel weird

Up until today, I never really gave my dad's wedding this Sunday much thought. But all of a sudden, I realize I'm about to have two step-sisters I've seen once and a step-brother I've never met. Not to mention a new step-mother in Kathy. That's a little strange. But it's pretty exciting too, even though I live a couple thousand miles away and will rarely see any of them.

My dad called a couple nights ago to ask about my transportation and lodging plans and all that, and he even enlisted my help to plan Saturday night's meal (I lobbied for pizza; he decided on KFC). However, he neglected to mention that my grandma was in the hospital having a shunt placed in her heart. Fortunately, the procedure was successful and everything turned out great. But dad, heart surgery on a family member... this is the type of thing you should probably fill me in on from now on... whaddaya say??

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

A Beloit College education put to work

I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart almost every night. It's funny, and it's usually a hell of a lot more informative than a lot of "serious" news programs. That's why I watch it. I certainly don't watch to catch people I know being interviewed. But that's what happened on Monday's show.

This dude Ryan Clancy and I worked together on the student newspaper at Beloit College. I used to drive him to Milwaukee so he could visit a sperm bank, and in return, he'd let me jump on his trampoline at his mom's place for a while. I was easily amused.

Anyway, tonight I'm watching The Daily Show, and they've interviewed him for one of their fake correspondent pieces. I almost fell off the bed. Apparently he went to Iraq to be a human shield, and when he came back, the U.S. guvmint fined him $10K for illegally traveling to an unauthorized country. In all honesty, it wasn't one of the funnier pieces they've done, but still, how often is someone you personally know made fun of by one of your favorite TV shows?

Monday, October 6, 2003

The Myrtliest of all Beaches

I can't fathom how anyone ever thought Myrtle Beach was a good idea.

What was barely palatable to me ten years ago when I was 18 was, this past weekend when I was there, an all-out attack on my senses. It is easily the tackiest place I've ever been (keeping in mind I've never been to Vegas or Branson). Of course, when I was 18, four of us boys, just out of high school, went down for a week of fun, sun, bungee jumping and the occasional visit to Hooters.

So why the hell did I go there? For Deborah's birthday, I surprised her (I told her where we were going the night before we left) with tickets to see Guster at the Myrtle Beach House of Blues. Guster rocked, and the opener, Will Hoge, kicked ass. And our friends Tim and Amy came down from Durham for the second part of the surprise. Inviting them paid for itself as Amy complained to the hotel desk until they knocked 20% off the room. There were also a lot of bikers (it was the annual Bike Week) and a slew of begging catfish.

But why is it that the Monday after a fun weekend is always a huge pain in the ass at work?

Friday, October 3, 2003

Beware the Slipper of Death

After much trial and error, I have discovered that the most effective way of killing the cockroaches that frequent the inside of my house is a hard, but quick, slap with my "Slipper of Death." This particular piece of footwear is firm enough to kill, yet, unlike boots or tennis shoes, is still flimsy enough to prevent unwanted roachgutsplatter.

At least it's starting to get cooler so the roaches should be less active in the near future.

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