briandearth.com
blog \ photos \ cap'n \ rss \

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Strike one

First Pitch

Everyone should have a list of things they want to do sometime during their life. This list may or may not be realistic. Maybe it includes climbing Mount Everest. Running a marathon. Visiting the South Pacific. Shagging Halle Berry.

My list is mostly unrealistic (it includes the latter example above). But last night, I got to cross something off the list when I threw out the first pitch at a professional baseball game. Yup, that's me in the pic flinging a fastball home at Friday's Savannah Sand Gnats game against the hated Lake County Captains at Grayson Stadium. Click it for the big version, where you can (kinda) tell it's me. I was representing The Packet because we sponsored Hardeeville Night at the stadium.

For the record, I threw a strike that caught the inside corner. The Gnats actually won the game too, 3-2, on a bases-loaded single in the bottom of the 10th inning.

Now that's done. Time to decide whether I should concentrate next on sitting in on drums for a couple tunes with the Barenaked Ladies or making an appearance on Letterman.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

This is what we do at "work"

Despite appearances, these new G5s are - unfortunately - not mine.

G5

They were just delivered to my office. What's even worse... I don't even get one of these babies for my work machine! Oh the humanity!

It could be worse though. I could be Morgan, who sent the following e-mail to me and Chris about the photo below:

"This would make for a good Fark.com link - "Photoshop these two dorks and their G5's". That being said, DO NOT POST THIS ON FARK.COM. Your sites - OK. Fark.com - NOT OK."

Matt (at the far left) is just an innocent bystander. Don't judge him. Judge Morgan all you want. This is a lot funnier if you know Morgan.

G5

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

The possibilities are limitless

Right now, I could be doing anything. I could be teaching myself Cantonese. Maybe I should jog a few miles and build up my stamina and lung capacity. Perhaps even shop for my sister's birthday, which was exactly one week ago. But no, I'm not doing any of those things. I'm tracking a package through the UPS system.

I don't know why I need to know that the sleeping bag I ordered from campmor.com is currently in Raleigh, N.C., and has been there since 3:02 this afternoon. Or that the package originated in Saddle Brook, N.J., then moved on to Secaucus, N.J., before landing in Baltimore for a few hours.

But I know it's scheduled to arrive tomorrow, and arrive it shall! The UPS tracking system has never let me down before. Lo, I shan't be disappointed for the Internet says it is so!

Friday, April 16, 2004

Not a good sign

Question from girl: "What the hell did you eat?!? Your breath smells like fish or catfood or something!"

Apparently, sesame chicken + diet Coke + 2 hours = salmon-flavored Meow Mix. Who knew?

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Called off

The OFTPMS has been canceled. As of today at 4:45 p.m., the tree was confirmed gone. The neighbors took care of it quickly when I was positive they'd ignore it. And yes, I realize that now I kind of look like an ass.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Official launch of the OFTPMS

Big storm. Much wind. Tree fall down. Driveway blocked. Bad.

And the tree isn't even ours. It's our neighbor's.

(Quick explanation about the neighbors: They try to ignore us as much as possible. It's not necessarily that they don't like us; they'd rather just pretend we're not there. I don't know why this is. In turn, we like to pretend they don't exist. This arrangement seems to be working well for everyone.)

So now there's this fallen tree that I, unfortunately, can't ignore. I also don't have an axe or chain saw or anything else that can get rid of a tree of its size. Fortunately, I can just squeeze the car through the yard to get out. But in doing so, I heard branches scraping metal. Plus, the whole thing is inconvenient and annoying.

So we very politely asked the neighbors to take care of it as soon as possible. Apparently, they have a "tree guy" who deals with this kind of stuff, and they promised to call him posthaste, before they leave on vacation tomorrow. I'm Mr. Skeptical on this one, mainly because the neighbors didn't seem real concerned about our predicament. So until the tree is gone, this is no longer a blog... it's the official Online Fallen Tree Position Monitoring Station (OFTPMS).

I'm also taking suggestions for a better acronym.

Thursday, April 8, 2004

Three words ...

What. The. Fuck?

www.subservientchicken.com

How did THAT make it past corporate legal?

Monday, April 5, 2004

Opening Day

I can think of a number of reasons why I should hate Major League Baseball.

Whiny, overpriced players. Greedy owners. $6 hot dogs and $15 parking. Steroids. The New York Goddamn Yankees. The Seligs. World Series games that drag into November.

In theory, everyone should hate MLB. But I can't.

I spent 97.7% of my childhood on baseball. (The remaining 2.3% was spent running away from or being stung by bees.) I pretended to smack 95-mph fastballs over the fence (in real life, the woodshed in the backyard). I collected about a kajillion baseball cards, all of which actually survive to this day in their home under my bed. I played Little League for 8 years until I realized I couldn't hit or throw a curveball. I went to countless games at County Stadium in Milwaukee, including the last one ever.

After all the time and effort I put into the game as a kid, I can't just dismiss it now. It's such a simple game - just hit, throw and catch a ball - but with more than enough complexities and idiosyncrasies to keep it interesting. Yeah, it can get boring watching a game on TV, but there's nothing quite like catching a game in person. Which reminds me... the Savannah Sand Gnats are about to start losing again. And how will Mr. Hilton Hed adjust to Thirsty Thursdays now that he works on Fridays?

And hey, my Milwaukee Brewers actually won their first game. Even though the Brewers soon will settle into their familiar 5th place position, they're in first place right now. However unrealistic, there's still hope for this year...

Words of Wisdom

Endorsements

I enthusiastically recommend the following products and/or services:

Selling Out

Apple

Get Camino!

Movable Type

Categories

Friends/Family :: Funny :: Kittens :: Media :: Music/Movies/TV :: Photos :: Politics :: Random :: Rant :: Sports :: Tech/Geek :: Travel ::

Archives

October 2008 :: September 2008 :: August 2008 :: July 2008 :: June 2008 :: May 2008 :: April 2008 :: March 2008 :: February 2008 :: January 2008 :: December 2007 :: November 2007 :: October 2007 :: September 2007 :: August 2007 :: July 2007 :: June 2007 :: May 2007 :: April 2007 :: March 2007 :: February 2007 :: January 2007 :: December 2006 :: November 2006 :: October 2006 :: September 2006 :: August 2006 :: July 2006 :: June 2006 :: May 2006 :: April 2006 :: March 2006 :: February 2006 :: January 2006 :: December 2005 :: November 2005 :: October 2005 :: September 2005 :: August 2005 :: July 2005 :: June 2005 :: May 2005 :: April 2005 :: March 2005 :: February 2005 :: January 2005 :: December 2004 :: November 2004 :: October 2004 :: September 2004 :: August 2004 :: July 2004 :: June 2004 :: May 2004 :: April 2004 :: March 2004 :: February 2004 :: January 2004 :: December 2003 :: November 2003 :: October 2003 :: September 2003 :: August 2003 :: July 2003 :: June 2003 :: May 2003 ::

Top photo: Pasture outside of Motueka, New Zealand