Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"Super" Bowl XL

Forget Seahawks vs. Steelers. This one is Mike Holmgren vs. Bill Cowher. And may the best mustache win.

If I were a betting man, I'd take Seattle over Pittsburgh 23-20 as the Seahawks win the first ever Super Bowl to go into overtime. In their haste to celebrate, Seattle players grab the wrong container, and instead of dousing Holmgren with Gatorade, they hit him with a vat of Campbell's Chunky Soup.

Of course, the term "Super Bowl" itself is grossly misleading and inappropriate. As everyone knows, by definition, nothing may be considered super unless it directly involves Chuck Norris.

• Posted by Brian at 7:57 PM
• Comments (1)
• Category: Sports

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Warning: Old man post a-brewin'

Back in my day, movies were three for a nickel, plus you got two cartoons and a newsie. And people paid to watch the picture, not play kissie-face in the back row. Kids these days...

I'm excited to see that Steven Soderbergh and Mark Cuban are releasing their new movie almost simultaneously in theaters and on DVD. I don't know what "Bubble" is about or if it's supposed to be any good, but if it paves the way to quicker DVD releases, I'm a fan of it.

Of course, movie theater owners are blackballing it. I guess I can't blame them, because if it becomes the norm for movies to be released in theaters and on DVD at the same time, I would never step inside a theater again.

Some people say they like the movie theater experience. I, however, can't stand it. On Hilton Head, we have to deal with shaky sound, a jumpy picture and on occasion, the projector just breaks down. Bluffton finally opened a decent theater, but you still have to put up with the people who talk or use cell phones. And thank you, sir, for giving me a sixth opportunity to remove my feet from that pile of Goobers coating the floor, but do you think you could take care of all your business on this pass? Then there are the parents who use the movies as a babysitter. I wonder if the parents who bought six 8-year-olds tickets to "The Chronic-(what?)-cles of Narnia" last Saturday knew they ended up sitting (and talking) next to me in "Underworld: Evolution."

I'm going to see "Syriana" tonight because Debz is afraid it'll be gone from theaters tomorrow. I'm going reluctantly because it's at one of the crappy island theaters. I'm going at all because I really want to see it, and because we're stopping at Mellow Mushroom first. And I let Debz go to "Walk the Line" by herself last night, even though I'd love to see it, because it's only playing at Northridge, and I refuse to give that pit another dime.

So yeah, once they start releasing movies on DVD right away, I'm springing for a big flat-screen with surround sound. And it probably won't cost me too much more than two tickets, a large popcorn and two Cokes at a theater.

• Posted by Brian at 7:35 PM
• Comments (5)
• Category: Music/Movies/TV

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The List

Richard Nixon had one. So does Homer Simpson. And Stephen Colbert, who I just learned was the voice of Ace in SNL's The Ambiguously Gay Duo shorts. But I can't find a link to his list.

I'm talking about an Enemies List.

Today, I am adding the Carolina Panthers to my list because they knocked the Chicago Bears out of the playoffs. Steve Smith gets special individual recognition because even though I can't prove it, I'm pretty sure he cheated today. Probably took a mixture of steroids, amphetamines and Viagra.

So to recap the list as it currently stands: the Carolina Panthers, Ferrellgas, that guy who was a real dick to me in high school, 99% of southern Beaufort County, and Bill O'Reilly.

• Posted by Brian at 11:50 PM
• Comments (1)
• Category: Sports

Monday, January 9, 2006

Feliz ano nuevo!

The lack of posts recently is directly related to the lack of Internet cafes in the small Mexican towns and lodges where I've been hanging out. Ok, technically I've been back home since last Wednesday, but between sleeping, working, doing laundry and coughing my germs all over Morgan's desk when he's away, I haven't had time for much else.

If you don't count the volumes of time spent in seven different airports (thanks to Guadalajara, where I picked up my souvenir cough), Mexico was a blast. We spent our time in and around Copper Canyon, which is actually a system of six canyons. I've decided to believe claims that Barranca del Urique is the third-deepest canyon in the world, because it sure felt like it as we hiked to the bottom.

We also spent some time learning about the Tarahumara and meeting some of the people. These are the guys whose ancestors caught antelope by running them down until their prey dropped of exhaustion. Recently, they've won 100-mile ultra marathons in the U.S. ... while wearing sandals.

Possibly the most amazing fact of the trip was my average wake-up time was 6:15. And my latest night was 10 p.m. That was New Year's Eve, and I only struggled to stay up that late because that was when the East Coast was hitting midnight. Don't laugh... I'd like to see how late you stay up the next day you hike down the deepest gorge in North America.

• Posted by Brian at 11:43 PM
• Comments (0)
• Category: Travel