Sunday, June 25, 2006

Ah, weddings

Where divorced people are forced to sit uncomfortably close to each other for extended periods of time.

But our hotel, the Grand Harbor Resort in Dubuque, has 3 great things: free wifi, a view of the mighty Mississippi and a waterpark, which was probably more fun after the 2 rum and Cokes at the reception than it otherwise would have been.

And yes, I realize that violates my new "no more caffeine" policy. So sue me.

• Posted by Brian at 9:57 AM
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• Category: Friends/Family

Thursday, June 22, 2006

False alarm

The cardiologist I visited today (a.k.a. the Greatest Person In The Universe) told me that my little brush with heart disease wasn't actually that at all. It was simply an aberration, a compounding of a very minor condition I was diagnosed with at 15 combined with my questionable decision to run around a softball field when it was really goddamn hot.

So to celebrate my healthy heart, I punished it with toppings of sausage and of pepperoni. But I have given up caffeine, which is something that can trigger an episode of tachycardia. Haven't had a soda since Monday, and I'm not headachy or grumpy or anything.

Yet.

And if I seem grumpy over the next few days, it may just be because I'll be in Iowa.

• Posted by Brian at 9:01 PM
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• Category: Random

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Putting that health care plan to good use

Or: How to waste a perfect excuse for ditching jury duty.

Last night, the S.C. Seamless Gutters took our usual drubbing in the Beaufort Men's Softball League. The beating was even worse than usual because we had only 3 outfielders, instead of the usual 4. That meant those 3, including yours truly, had to run like hell around the not-so-well-manicured softball fields of Beaufort fetching pop flies and doubles off the wall. Despite drinking a bottle of water during the game and one after, along with some Gatorade, I felt decidedly crappy on the drive back. I think I passed out for a bit and woke up long enough to suggest to Morgan that instead of heading back home, maybe instead he should take me to the medical center out by I-95.

We got there, and Morgan helped me into a wheelchair and zipped me into the ER. I repaid him by waiting to throw up until after I got out of his car. I was somewhat relieved to note that after the IV drip was in and blood pressure readings were taken, the doctors lost interest in me. I figured if something was seriously wrong, they'd be hovering around. But apparently, the guy in the next room who took a baseball bat to the head during a bar fight was in slightly worse shape.

Eventually, the doc came back and said I had a relatively minor bout of Tachycardia, and that it was most likely a fluke, a symptom of that whole getting old thing. I get to go to a cardiologist on Thursday, but they told me it was more of a precaution than anything.

Moral of the story: Exercise is bad. Don't do it. Ever.

And against Deborah's wishes, I left the doctor's note behind and went to my jury summons today anyway. As with most scenes in Bluffton, it was rather chaotic with a lot of confused people milling around. I didn't get picked.

• Posted by Brian at 10:45 PM
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• Category: Random

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Save the environment, plant a Bush in Texas

(bumper sticker during the '04 campaign)

Deborah's brother Scott published an excellent essay on the Texas League of Conservation Voters blog about the proposed border fence between Mexico and the U.S. In addition to being expensive and most likely ineffective, a border fence would have a destructive impact on the area's wildlife, like jaguarundi and ocelots. A decline in their populations would be most unfortunate because now that I've developed a taste for them, I can never go back to plain ol' beef or chicken.

Seriously, Scott's essay is very well-written. Check it out.

However, I was a little confused when I visited the organization's Who We Are page. Surely I missed the name of one of Texas' most influential families. I checked again. Nope. No one named Bush on the board. At first, I thought it simply might have been an oversight by the group's web guy, but as I thought about it, I realized that the Bush family doesn't crave public recognition for their charitable work. Whichever Bush serves on the board must have specifically requested that his or her name not be revealed publicly. Their hard work would be reward enough.

Yeah, I bet that's it.

• Posted by Brian at 9:27 PM
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• Category: Politics

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Score one for the good guys

The human race has survived this fateful day, this 6/6/(0)6.

It all came down to one pivotal battle, a battle in which good did more than merely triumph over evil; it beat the everlovin' crap out of it as the Los Angeles Angels smote the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 12-2. The Minions of Evil even scored home-field advantage (Florida, death's waiting room), but still failed to pull out the victory.

I believe it may have been a ploy by Satan, to lull this fine Christian nation into a false sense of complacency. I mean, are we really to believe that the Father of Lies would schedule the Apocalypse for such an obvious day? Too predictable... our guard was up, our hackles raised. No, Lucifer will bide his time and allow us to inhale a few more Big Macs before unleashing his Hell upon our unwitting masses.

Meanwhile, as Evil bides his time, we're safe ... until the next media-induced hyper-frenzy. Summer of the Gator, anyone?

• Posted by Brian at 11:36 PM
• Comments (1)
• Category: Random