Saturday, July 22, 2006

Hating Ohio, part deux

When I found out I had a chance to see a former presidential candidate make a speech, especially a Democrat and especially around here, it wasn't a hard decision. So we headed to Charleston this morning to sit in on John Kerry's town-hall meeting on health care.

Kerry spoke very passionately about a bill he wrote called the "Kids First Act." (As was the case with Gore after the 2000 campaign was over, if this was the Kerry America saw in '04, we'd have a different president right now.) Kerry admitted to a couple holes in the bill, but as he also pointed out, he has offered one more health care proposal than the actual president.

And even though the scheduled topic was health care, Kerry didn't hesitate to slip in a few good shots at Bush's total incompetence in handling Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, the educational system and well... pretty much everything.

The best part: I didn't have to sign a loyalty oath to get in or risk getting arrested simply by showing up.

The worst part: I didn't get a chance to ask Morgan's question: "Senator Kerry, if you could relive the 2004 campaign, and a group slams you on your service in Vietnam, especially when your opponent never served overseas, would you reduce the amount of time you took to respond and counterattack?" (This is the question as I would have asked it, not as Morgan wanted it phrased. Morgan's preferred version included several f-bombs as well as a couple "assholes" and a "dickhead.")

• Posted by Brian at 11:03 PM
• Comments (6)
• Category: Politics

Monday, July 17, 2006

Skidmarks on your soul?

In continuing with my inane movie clip theme, I bring you this ad from 1983. It was an era when a movie proved that cute little bears can bring down a technologically advanced evil empire. An entire nation was under the spell of a blinged-up badass shouting "I pity tha fool!" I was learning long division and that no human being could out-yell Mrs. Holecek, my third grade teacher.

And a radical new video game was infiltrating the country's youth. It was called Pole Position, and if this commercial doesn't want to make you scour Ebay for a 2600 console, I don't know what will.

Aspiring ad executives take note... this has perhaps the most attention-grabbing opening line in television advertising history.

• Posted by Brian at 11:51 PM
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• Category: Music/Movies/TV

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I like to imagine conversations

KR: "Hey! Isn't it funny that now that I'm safe from prosecution*, we can brazenly splash that Valerie Plame thing all over the place? Ho ho ho, we really pulled the rug out from under 'em on that one! Let's all go down to the Asshole Cafe and celebrate with a few drinks. And bonus! This little item is taking the media's attention away from that little mess we created in Iraq. Zing!"

KR: "What do you mean, she's suing me? Yeah, I ruined her career and put her life in danger. So what? Can'tcha take a joke? Tell her that her husband shoulda kept his big trap shut!"

KR: "Ah well, no big deal. We'll just get one of her old CIA cronies to 'drop the lawsuit' for her. I promise we won't leak that agent's name! HAHAHA!"

* And why, again, is that the case?

• Posted by Brian at 10:49 PM
• Comments (0)
• Category: Politics

Saturday, July 8, 2006

That rug really tied Castle Grayskull together

Not sure why Skeletor & Co. speak for The Dude, Walter and Donny at the beginning, then switch over to the Nihilists about halfway through. But I'm willing to give the guy who edited this some creative license.

I caught a the end of "The Big Lebowski" on Comedy Central last night. Hearing Walter say "Gosh darn" and "they peed on your foolin' rug" just feels wrong. Don't know why they bother.

• Posted by Brian at 11:07 AM
• Comments (2)
• Category: Music/Movies/TV

Sunday, July 2, 2006

Worse than rain, snow, sleet and hail combined

A few days ago, we received a notice that said our mailbox was unacceptable. I found this rather odd because for the 7+ months we've lived here, there's never been a problem. But suddenly our mailbox has been deemed too far from the curb. We must rectify this situation by July 3 (which is about 12 minutes from now) or our mail service will be suspended.

This is our mailbox. Notice its relation to the curb:

Well, dang it all! That sure is a gosh darn long way from the curb! My only guess is that we have a new mail carrier, and it's a T-Rex.

So for all of you who regularly shower me with lavish gifts, better start sending 'em FedEx.

• Posted by Brian at 11:48 PM
• Comments (2)
• Category: Random