Friday, March 30, 2007
Not worthy
I spent approximately 12 seconds in the Victoria Gardens Apple Store yesterday before coming to this depressing but inevitable conclusion: I was, by far, the worst dressed, least hip and least attractive schmuck in the place.
I'm surprised I was allowed inside.
Now I know there are many other geeks like myself who enjoy Apple's products. But they don't browse for iPods or MacBooks in Rancho Cucamonga, California, and subject themselves to public scorn. No, they wisely hide in their homes and abuse their credit cards via the Web.
I must learn from them. The sting of such humiliation is not soon forgotten.
Posted by Brian at 11:38 PM
Comments (3)
Category: Tech/Geek
Monday, March 26, 2007
Let's get this party started
It's been one whole year, and you've waited long enough!
Vendors! Reserve your space NOW!
That's right... brace yourselves for ... the ... 2nd annual....
Mark your calendars for August 4-5 at the one, the only Ontario Convention Center (the one near L.A., not the one in Toronto).
Judging by the number of billboards along I-10 between Phoenix and L.A., this one's gonna top last year's expo. And that's saying something!
I don't believe I've ever been quite this excited in my life.
- Posted by Brian at 9:29 PM
- Comments (3)
- Category: Travel
Monday, March 12, 2007
I don't know much about tennis...
But I do know that Arnaud Clement is a dick.
We scored free tickets to the Pacific Life Open on Saturday, and even though I didn't get to see Maria Sharapova play, I did get to meet Martina Hingis. We also got to see Rafael Nadal whomp ass on that jerkwad Clement.
Since the tickets were free, they weren't exactly close to the court. But even from my vantage point, I could tell Clement was taking his frustration at losing out on the ballkids. Eventually, after an unforced error into the net, Clement yelled at a ballgirl since his crappy play clearly was her fault. I don't know what he said, but apparently a good chunk of the crowd did and started booing. After losing that game, Clement whacked a ball high into the stands. Some guy a few feet away from us caught it, and remember, we're in the nosebleeds. Which I suppose is a testament to his forehand strength as well as his maturity.
I found Clement's tantrum almost as funny as the lady who was knitting (!) in front of us. Chill, dude. You're ranked somewhere in the 50s, and you're playing the No. 2 player in the world; you're supposed to lose. Fortunately, you did.
Now, in addition to knowing Roger Federer because he's good; Sharapova because she's hot; and Hingis because I met her, I also recognize Clement because he's a dick.
(By the way, I don't know who the chick in the photo is. Obviously, she's not a top-tier player because they let me get that close to her without releasing the hounds.)
- Posted by Brian at 9:04 PM
- Comments (2)
- Category: Sports
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
How many candles on a cake is too many?
Most people stop serving birthday cakes featuring one candle per year around the time the recipient hits 16. As we all know, Deborah is not most people.
"Do I really need a cake with 32 candles on it? It'll take way too long."
"Tough, you can wait."
So today, I got my 33-candled cake. One was for good measure. Or luck. Or for the hell of it. I can't remember; I was focused on the cake. Deborah started lighting them. It took awhile. Tiny sparks popped off them. "These aren't those damn trick candles, are they?" "No, of course not." Deborah's lies fooled no one. By the time #33 was lit, the first one was singeing the frosting.
Finally, I was given the ok to cut loose. Maybe three stayed out. Trick candles, remember? By this time, smoke detectors were blaring, cats were freaking out and Deborah was rushing to turn on fans and open doors. I didn't help. It was my birthday so I was immune from all household tasks, including those that could save me from possible smoke inhalation. And, well, someone had to blow those candles out. Eventually, I gave up; it was just too much work. Trick candles, remember?
After silencing those pesky smoke detectors (no need to test those for another six months), Deborah began tweezing the still-flaming candles out of the cake and pitching them into a bowl of water. Watch out, Deborah! There's not much candle left to grab on any of these! Whoops... you missed the bowl... that one's burning the countertop! Oh, what fun!
Eventually, all candles were doused in the now-disgusting bowl of water, and I was allowed to eat my cake. I'll have to wait until next March 7 to see if I'll get my wish: that my next birthday cake has no candles.
- Posted by Brian at 9:26 PM
- Comments (0)
- Category: Random
