How many candles on a cake is too many?
Most people stop serving birthday cakes featuring one candle per year around the time the recipient hits 16. As we all know, Deborah is not most people.
"Do I really need a cake with 32 candles on it? It'll take way too long."
"Tough, you can wait."
So today, I got my 33-candled cake. One was for good measure. Or luck. Or for the hell of it. I can't remember; I was focused on the cake. Deborah started lighting them. It took awhile. Tiny sparks popped off them. "These aren't those damn trick candles, are they?" "No, of course not." Deborah's lies fooled no one. By the time #33 was lit, the first one was singeing the frosting.
Finally, I was given the ok to cut loose. Maybe three stayed out. Trick candles, remember? By this time, smoke detectors were blaring, cats were freaking out and Deborah was rushing to turn on fans and open doors. I didn't help. It was my birthday so I was immune from all household tasks, including those that could save me from possible smoke inhalation. And, well, someone had to blow those candles out. Eventually, I gave up; it was just too much work. Trick candles, remember?
After silencing those pesky smoke detectors (no need to test those for another six months), Deborah began tweezing the still-flaming candles out of the cake and pitching them into a bowl of water. Watch out, Deborah! There's not much candle left to grab on any of these! Whoops... you missed the bowl... that one's burning the countertop! Oh, what fun!
Eventually, all candles were doused in the now-disgusting bowl of water, and I was allowed to eat my cake. I'll have to wait until next March 7 to see if I'll get my wish: that my next birthday cake has no candles.
Posted by Brian at 9:26 PM
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Category: Random
