The first marital disagreement
Basically, it's the name thing.
Debz wants me to take her last name. I have decided against it, and not only because it would make me a wuss or any less of a man (although, of course, it would).
Debz can do whatever she wants with her name. I never would press her into a decision like that, mostly because of the punching. However, I have presented her with the three most obvious options:
• Deborah Dearth. She has rejected this, saying it sounds stupid. And of course it does when you say it, as she does, like the freak offspring of Brandine from "The Simpsons" and Bullwinkle.
• Deborah Nicol-Dearth. Nope: sounds like a law firm.
• Deborah Nicol. Different last names will lead to confusion once there are kids in the picture.
Now I've put a lot of thought into this little dilemma, and I think I've hit upon a perfect and elegant solution:
Deborah and Brian Skywalker.
Problem solved.
Posted by Brian at 6:10 PM
Comments (16)
Category: Friends/Family
Comments
Posted by: Debz on April 14, 2007 06:16 PM
Jezuz. My fiance is falling down a geek spiral.
The name change tradition is sexist. If a woman takes her husband's name, there's no question. If he takes her name, he's a wuss?? I would appreciate being treated as an equal. I think Brian Nicol sounds very nice.
Better than a name that means "lack of..."
Posted by: SharonZ on April 14, 2007 08:09 PM
How about a compromise? You can combine the two last names into one thereby making no-one happy. Brian and Deborah Dicol...OK, maybe not.
Posted by: Brian on April 14, 2007 10:47 PM
Yeah, we've discussed that... Nearth isn't really in the running either.
And I am treating her as an equal. I've decided what to do with my name, and I fully support whatever decision she ultimately makes with hers.
Posted by: Sarah Goldfarb on April 15, 2007 06:50 AM
It definately does not make a man a wuss to take his wife's name .(BTW, didn't the Nields do that)? However, I think changing one's name is a highly personal thing that a person can not be talked into.
Mike could care less if we had the same last name but the decision was mine to change it to Sarah Schwartz next month. Even though I never loved Goldfarb, I have been starting to mourn my quirky last name and I can understand how difficult it can be for anyone to change their name. Neither Dearth nor Nicol are common names, so I can understand how hard it would be for both of you to part with your names. I don't think Nicol-Dearth sounds like a law office. Actually, I kind of like it. Goldfarb-Schwartz on the other hand is a law office name.
Well, good luck making a decision.
Posted by: Betsy on April 15, 2007 12:56 PM
Why don't you two make like Madonna and just go by "Debz" and "Bri?"
You're too important for last names.
Posted by: Diane on April 15, 2007 04:49 PM
Why don't you both choose an insignia and be "formally known as" - I am picturing something like a Simpson's character and a big-fat margarita glass
Posted by: Darth Vader on April 15, 2007 11:06 PM
If you're gonna change to an agreeable last name you may as well just start from scratch.
So ...
-Luke and Leia Skywalker (you kinda look like brother and sister anyway and this change adds a little edge to the whole marriage thing)
-Han Solo and Leia Skywalker (it was meant to be and has such a nice ring)
-Han Solo-Skywalker Leia Solo-Skywalker (share and share alike)
-Just Luke and Leia or just Han and Leia
-You could be the Huts --- Jabba and Leia -- I mean they were a great couple even tho they spent only a short time together.
-Brian Homer and Deborah Marge Simpson (this route makes it easy to name the little munchkins)
So, so, so, so many choices..........
Posted by: Diane on April 16, 2007 06:22 AM
Okay - so this came to me in a dream last night...Brian and Deborah Lebowski aka "the Dudes"
Posted by: Debz on April 16, 2007 09:26 PM
All lovely suggestions. I remember that Carla suggested slightly altering Brian's name to D'earth, as in, "of the Earth." I kinda like that, if I do go along with the sexist-tradition-with-no-compromise, that would be a budge in the right direction.
Posted by: Sarah Willmsssss on April 17, 2007 11:13 AM
i found this hilarity through my fellow music major deb nicol. as the current executive director of the women's history museum, i feel i must weigh in.
break the cyle of patriarchal oppression! keeping your 'maiden' name doesn't do it because it's your father's name. you should just do like angelina jolie and go by your first and middle name. then you'll be able to evade the mormon geneaologist that will research your history after you die and try to baptize you in the name of the angel moroni so your heathen soul can be saved and you'll get your own planet. and believe me, the last thing you want to deal with while you're sitting out eternity is a bunch of planet-wielding mormon evangelists.
am i the only one that worries about this stuff?
Posted by: Debz on April 18, 2007 02:41 AM
Oh, believe you me, I've thought about how I will ultimately control the universe in the afterlife...
Posted by: chris on April 19, 2007 04:26 AM
Man, Debbie just needs to get with the program already. Hasn't she been yammering on about this for more than a year now? I thought we established that she needs to get in line and respect your authora-tay.
C'mon, say it with me: DEBBIE DEARTH. Double-D for short. It's catchy.
Posted by: SaraQ on April 23, 2007 09:29 AM
It seems to me the only responsible thing to do is to adpot the Icelandic tradition. You both keep your last names, then when you have a kid it's last name is: Brianson (if a boy) or Debzdotter (if a girl). Of course then you can fight over weather it should be Briandotter for a girl and Debzson for a boy. . . but at least it puts the fight off for later. Isnt learning about other cultures fun?
Posted by: Will on April 23, 2007 12:21 PM
Oh good lord, people.
Posted by: Carla on April 23, 2007 02:31 PM
Rock on! Deb remembered! I think Deborah and Brian d'Earth is oh, so very cutting edge green with a twist of sophistication.
Take it from one who's been around the block with names, xo- Carla Cappiello then James back to Cappiello now Golden. Classy, eh?
PS - You know, when you have a baby boy you'll have to name him Mac d'Earth. To heck with all that Star Wars stuff....go straight to ultraCool. Or iD'earth.
Posted by: TheUnsinkableMB on April 27, 2007 11:50 AM
HA! Nice, Sharon - Dicol, love it!
Join in the fun and just extend your middle name!