Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Free at last!

I received a letter in the mail last week from Great Lakes Educational Loan Services that read in part:

"CONGRATULATIONS! Our records show that this account was paid in full as of 11-08-2007. We hope your educational experience has been a good one."

So in addition to being $225.39 richer each month, I am interpreting that last sentence to mean that I am no longer under any obligation to continue learning. Soon, I hope to be forgetting things I once knew. With any luck, by next week I'll be watching Fox News and "The Bachelor" in diapers while eating moldy cat food.

• Posted by Brian at 10:50 PM
• Comments (3)
• Category: Random

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Security breach locked down

Sorry about the new security feature in the comments. It became necessary after I had to delete over 200 junk comments in the past 24 hours. I set it up in about 20 minutes at 1 a.m. last night so it's entirely possible that it is still in the beta stage. Drop me an e-mail if you run into problems.

I knew this day would come eventually, but I figured it would be because of Viagra or porn or penny stocks. But no... the product being pitched was incredibly boring: artificial Christmas trees. The URL listed didn't even work. I am not impressed by the quality of spam these days.

• Posted by Brian at 10:49 PM
• Comments (1)
• Category: Rant

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Well, it does beat Alcatraz...

National Geographic Traveler magazine has ranked the five best and worst island destinations in the world. I've never been to the four worst, but I do have intimate knowledge of the fifth: Hilton Head Island.

The reasons given "monotonous in a squeaky-clean way" and "poster boy for tourism development gone wild" are pretty weak. That latter one isn't even close to being true; look at the (admittedly non-island) destinations of Myrtle Beach and Orlando for much better examples of uncontrolled tourism growth. And with the reasons given, ranking Hilton Head almost as bad as #4 Jamaica, where vacation houses list armed guards among the amenities, is pretty silly.

Now I know what you're all thinking... "Brian is defending Hilton Head? Isn't Hilton Head the place he bitched about until he finally moved away and shut up about it last year?"

Let's not be too hasty.

I said the ranking was harsh - based on the reasons listed. If the anonymous experts had used better arguments, you could make the case. A mention of how native islanders (almost all of whom are black) are being taxed off their ancestors' land; the crappy way Hispanic immigrants (legal or not) are treated even though the island's economy would crash without them; the general intolerance of anything not conservative, wealthy and white; and the mess just over the bridge in Bluffton, and you may have earned yourself a #5 ranking.

Although it is fun to read how island officials try to spin this.

• Posted by Brian at 11:53 PM
• Comments (3)
• Category: Rant

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

'No Country For Old Men'

I don't usually talk about movies. I leave that to the better half.

But last night on the way home from a preview screening of "No Country For Old Men," the new Coen Brothers movie, I couldn't stop yammering about it. It completely blew me away. There was minimal dialogue and even less music, but lots of action in an amazing script. Plus (and I'm not one to notice such things) it was beautifully shot.

As a bonus, star Josh Brolin was on hand for a Q&A session, during which the audience did its best to prove that Palm Springs is filled with dipshits.

Did you like "Fargo"? This one's better. Go see it.

• Posted by Brian at 7:59 PM
• Comments (0)
• Category: Music/Movies/TV

Saturday, November 10, 2007

An even farther galaxy away...

K-3PO? R2-R7? WTF?

Yes, there are some subtle differences in U.S. and New Zealand spellings: "colour," "organisation," "centre." But I would have thought all English-speaking countries would sync up on movie character names. This New Zealand toy store obliterates that theory.

The only explanation I can think of is that K-3PO and R2-R7 were always the iconic droids' intended names. But unfortunately, way back in 1977, Mr. Lucas did not have the alphanumeric technology available to him to sequence those characters together. Finally, in the early 21st century, he can realize his original vision.

• Posted by Brian at 2:36 PM
• Comments (0)
• Category: Music/Movies/TV

Sunday, November 4, 2007

No worries

I could write a long-winded travelogue about the trip to New Zealand, but it would take a long time and none of you probably would read the whole thing. Plus, I'm lazy. Looky! Here's a picture instead: It's Lake Wakatipu and the Remarkables range near Queenstown.

But here, in convenient bulleted form, is what we did - and didn't - do in the land of the Kiwi.

DID:

• Hike 82 kilometers in less than four days on the Heaphy Track with 14 kilograms of pack on my back. In American, that's 51 miles and 31 pounds.

• Get several dated pop songs stuck in my head on the hike: "Livin' on a Prayer" (mostly the line "Who-oa, we're halfway there" whenever I thought we reached the halfway point to the next milestone), "Purple Rain" (it rained a lot), "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers (that chick really better be worth the blisters, sore feet and destroyed knees) and "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" (this one kind of defies explanation).

• Visit four national parks: Kahurangi, Paparoa, Fiordland and Abel Tasman.

• Visit five airports (these were less inspiring): Auckland, Nelson, Christchurch, Hokitika and Queenstown.

• Kayak three days, two in Doubtful Sound and one in Abel Tasman National Park.

• Eat very well, including some New Zealand specialties: lamb, venison, blue cod. Yum.

• Spend a lot of money. This is easy because New Zealand notes are colorful and there are birds on them so they don't look like real money.

• See two Maori shows and learn to pronounce correctly the Maori geographical names of the places we visited.

• Enjoy the hilarity of "Flight of the Conchords."

• Learn that Kiwis are not as uptight as Americans. This was confirmed by the Auckland airport's televisions all being tuned to "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," f-bombs, boobs and all.

• Feed eels at the National Kiwi Centre in Hokitika, a facility of such renowned international fame that its operators do not even deem it necessary to have a web site.

• Discuss U.S. politics with several Kiwis who were very well-educated about such matters. It seems they don't much care for the current administration. None of them, however, could remember Rudy Giuliani's name; he was just "the 9/11 guy from New York."

• Take a bunch of photos, most of which do not do justice but will be posted at some point anyway.

• Decide to adopt the New Zealand national motto: No worries.

DID NOT:

• Eat chutney, vegemite, haggis or any of the other nasty-ass "food" the Brits imported into New Zealand.

• Touch a computer the entire time I was in the country (save for two minutes in Auckland to make a bank transfer).

• Know whether the Bears won or lost their last two games. I did, however, watch South Africa destroy England for the rugby World Cup championship. It was 15-6 for those of you scoring at home.

• Tip at restaurants. It's not the custom because wait staff actually gets paid a decent wage. This, unfortunately, is reflected in the food prices.

• Shave. But I did that once I got home so I no longer look like I just got voted off "Survivor."

• Think about work.

• Drive. Although I wanted to take a crack at that drive-on-the-left concept.

• Have any exposure to news, except for two newspaper clippings of most of southern California on fire and the last couple of innings of the Red Sox knocking off the Rockies in Game 4 (sorry, Morgan).

• Kayak in Milford Sound. Unfortunately, an avalanche closed the road that leads there.

• Kill anything, despite a sign at a youth outdoor camp in Fiordland that taught us "Conservation in New Zealand is about killing things." (For the record, I did not put my hand in the trap.)

• Succumb to the urge to skip the return flight. This was a struggle.

• Posted by Brian at 11:33 PM
• Comments (9)
• Category: Travel