<!--
var r_text = new Array ();
r_text[0] = "\"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing.\" - Dwight Schrute";
r_text[1] = "\"I'm hungry. Let's go get a taco.\" - Mr. White";
r_text[2] = "\"You don't call retarded people retards. That's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.\" - Michael Scott";
r_text[3] = "\"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.\" - Jebidiah Springfield";
r_text[4] = "\"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as 'Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die' and 'Gladys, the Groovy Mule.'\" - Troy McClure";
r_text[5] = "\"You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.\" - Walter Sobchak";
r_text[6] = "\"The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there.\" - The Stranger";
r_text[7] = "\"I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.\" - Tommy Callahan III";
r_text[8] = "\"I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.\" - Ned Flanders";
r_text[9] = "\"When a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off.\" - Homer Simpson";
r_text[10] = "\"There's no justice like angry-mob justice.\" - Principal Seymour Skinner";
r_text[11] = "\"Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!\" - Lenny Leonard";
r_text[12] = "\"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.\"  - Han Solo";
r_text[13] = "\"I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.\" - Luke Skywalker";
r_text[14] = "\"I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.\" - Warden Samuel Norton";
r_text[15] = "\"I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got... And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife.\" - H.I. McDonnough";
r_text[16] = "\"I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, 'Shenanigans.'\" - Captain O'Hagan";
r_text[17] = "\"During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!\" - Louis Tully";
r_text[18] = "\"If they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.\" - Milton Waddams";
r_text[19] = "\"I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?\" - Tom Smykowski";
r_text[20] = "\"I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.\" - Michael Bolton";
r_text[21] = "\"Call me old-fashioned, but I can't stand kids today.\" - Stephen Colbert";
r_text[22] = "\"I'm going to pull your endocrine system out of your body.\" - Gary Busey";
r_text[23] = "\"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.\" - Inigo Montoya";
r_text[24] = "\"Senator Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about western Pennsylvania lately. And you know, I couldn't agree with them more.\" - Sen. John McCain, in western Pennsylvania";
var i = Math.round(25*Math.random());

document.write(r_text[i]);

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